While I was driving down the M1 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, laying in wait. The policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic, patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short"? To which I replied. "I'm late for work" To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The policeman was surprised and confused. "A what" "A rectum stretcher" "and just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said "I start by inserting one fin