gti2vr6 0 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Teacher:If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how manywill you have? Johnny: Seven Sir Teacher:No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits andanother 2, how many will you have?Johnny: Seven Teacher:Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2apples and another 2, how many will you have?Johnny: Six. Teacher:Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?Johnny: Seven! Teacher:Where the HELL do you get seven from?Johnny: Because I've already got a rabbit at home. Link to post Share on other sites
jimmyb 2 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 loool,liking it mate Link to post Share on other sites
nivag27 5 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Thats quite funny. Link to post Share on other sites
nivag27 5 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Went to a charity disco last week in aid of women born without legs, dance floor was crawling with fanny. Link to post Share on other sites
jimmyb 2 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 lol,police was explained to raoul moat how dangerous shotgun catridges can be,unfortunatley it went in 1 ear and straight out the other Link to post Share on other sites
nivag27 5 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 thats not even raoul moatly funny lol Link to post Share on other sites
jimmyb 2 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 lol,SCAM Over the last month I became the victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into my local Tesco for a bit of shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works:Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It's impossible not to look . When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say "No" and instead ask you for a lift to another store, in my case, Morrison’s in Basingstoke. You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing and both get completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet! I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, and 29th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this coming weekend. so beware Link to post Share on other sites
hvr6 88 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Went to a charity disco last week in aid of women born without legs' date=' dance floor was crawling with fanny.[/quote']GAV!!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
gti2vr6 0 Posted July 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away.Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop.My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!' Link to post Share on other sites
vr6stormt 0 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out' date=' and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away.Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop.My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'[/quote']LMFAO..... Link to post Share on other sites
Ian_rogers 0 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 A man goes into a library & asks for a book on underage, dwarf sex. The librarian says, How can you stoop so fucking low?The man replies "yeah, thats the one"! Link to post Share on other sites
jimmyb 2 Posted July 16, 2010 Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 loool i love maths Link to post Share on other sites
squid1 0 Posted July 18, 2010 Report Share Posted July 18, 2010 I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. I was having a few beers with my mates when the wife burst in. "Come quick!" she said. "Our son has just come home and told me he's gay and has got a Paki boyfriend."I dragged her outside and said, "Don't ever call me that again - I've told you, it's a medical problem." Link to post Share on other sites
squid1 0 Posted July 18, 2010 Report Share Posted July 18, 2010 Some cunt in a nightclub came up to me and said, "I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha."I replied, "20 x 0 = 0."That shut the fucker up Link to post Share on other sites
The Monk 50 Posted July 18, 2010 Report Share Posted July 18, 2010 Some cunt in a nightclub came up to me and said' date=' "I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha."I replied, "20 x 0 = 0."That shut the fucker up[/quote']I must remember that one Link to post Share on other sites
eastwood john 1 Posted July 18, 2010 Report Share Posted July 18, 2010 its been announced that gary glitter is leaving all his royalties and his money to his wife, but obviously by law she cant touch it untill shes 12 Link to post Share on other sites
squid1 0 Posted July 18, 2010 Report Share Posted July 18, 2010 lol i no its old but gdgd..! haha i like it Link to post Share on other sites
gti2vr6 0 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 its been announced that gary glitter is leaving all his royalties and his money to his wife' date=' but obviously by law she cant touch it untill shes 12 [/quote']George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's ElevenI've heard that Apple asked garry glitter to come up with a new name for the new children’s iPod after they realised that iTouch Kids is not a good product name. Link to post Share on other sites
eastwood john 1 Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 so there i was lying back on the sofa havin a lovely w**k.and those c**t from the DFS called the police. Link to post Share on other sites
Lukey. 381 Posted August 24, 2010 Report Share Posted August 24, 2010 statistically, six out of seven dwarves arent happy Link to post Share on other sites
staceface 0 Posted August 24, 2010 Report Share Posted August 24, 2010 ~What do 9 out of ten people enjoy?Gang rape! Link to post Share on other sites
Nero Mk 2 8 Posted December 30, 2010 Report Share Posted December 30, 2010 Whats the difference between Peanut Butter and Jam?You cant Peanut Butter your c0ck up your birds ar$e Link to post Share on other sites
VeedubVR 0 Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 Three blonde's were discussing what to call their new company, and it was finally agreed to name it Imagination. So it was to be called "Imagination-Limited." Link to post Share on other sites
VeedubVR 0 Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 I ordered a burger at McDonald's in Liverpool, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" Link to post Share on other sites
VeedubVR 0 Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her with my Xbox Link to post Share on other sites
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