Devildub_06 0 Posted April 16, 2006 Report Share Posted April 16, 2006 What do you get if you turn a blonde woman upside down??A brunette with bad breath Link to post Share on other sites
richievr 1 Posted April 17, 2006 Report Share Posted April 17, 2006 these are ALL top quality ...keep em coming Link to post Share on other sites
Maz 0 Posted April 17, 2006 Report Share Posted April 17, 2006 Two rats down in the sewers, one says to the other, 'I'm sick of eating shit, shit for breakfast, shit for lunch, shit for dinner, all we ever do is eat shit'. The other one replies, 'don't worry mate, we'll go on the piss later'Boom boom.Curtisy of my brother - it runs in the family. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildub_06 0 Posted April 17, 2006 Report Share Posted April 17, 2006 A bloke is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't placewhere he might know her from, so he says, "sorry do you know me?She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children !"His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has beenunfaithful, Christ! he says "You're not the stripogram from my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery andstuck a cucumber up my arse ???""No" she replied coldly.... "I'm your sons' English Teacher" Link to post Share on other sites
MrsC 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Ok, my 3rd attempt --------------------------------------------------------------------------A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice that the girl knows just as much about the game as they do, and they're really impressed. After the game they ask her "how is it that you know so much about baseball?"She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change." The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. "What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your penis?""That was very painful, but was not the most painful part." "Was it when they cut off your balls?" "That was very painful, but was not the most painful part." "What was the most painful part?" "The part that hurt the most was when they... cut my salary in half!"____________________________________________________________________________How are women and tornadoes alike?They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave____________________________________________________________________________There are four kinds of sex :HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got____________________________________________________________________________This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...He tells her to take her skirt, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs."Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!" :@ !grr !lol Link to post Share on other sites
nd 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Thats long Han you writing a book a jokes or something !amazed Link to post Share on other sites
Devildub_06 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Two women are walking home after a girlie night out. They are very drunk and the walk home is taking some time due to their intoxicated state.Eventually, they find themselves desperate for a wee. At that particular moment, they are passing a church and decide to go behind the headstones in the graveyard.As they finish they both realize they have nothing to 'freshen-up' with, so the first woman decides to use her knickers and then throw them away.The second woman is wearing very expensive underwear and is reluctant to lose them, when she notices a new grave nearby with lots of fresh flowers, amongst which is a very lavish bouquet with a thick soft ribbon.'Just the job' she decides and without another thought, duly drags the bouquet over and uses the ribbon to dry herself. Their task completed, the women continue staggering home.Next morning, the husband of the first woman phones the husband of the second."We need to keep an eye on our wives. Mine came home with no knickers on last night."You think you've got problems" exclaims the second husband "My wife came home last night with a card stuck up her arse that said, "We'll Never Forget You - From All the Lads at the Fire Station" Link to post Share on other sites
MrsC 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Thats long Han you writing a book a jokes or something !amazed I just have a LOT of time on my hands lol Link to post Share on other sites
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