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[moved] think your having a bad day??


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Are you having a bad day?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section

of

forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased

male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his

back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from

massive internal injuries.

Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then

set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle

of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off

the

coast, some 20 miles from the forest.

The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible,

had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water

was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the

Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket

300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

___________________________________________

Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in

the

kitchen.

While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear.

The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it

burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut

and

bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for

an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went

down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort

them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to lift

the motorcycle and push it outside.

She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels

and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the

shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went

into

the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to

his business.

About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her

husband

screaming.

Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away

and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for

an

ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they

asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them.

They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping

the husband out.

He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

____________________________________________

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil

spill in Alaska was $80,000.

At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were

being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from

onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

____________________________________________

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking

frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running

from his waist towards the electric kettle.

Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him

with

a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

____________________________________________

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending

pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.

Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a

broken

fence, stampeding madly The two hopeless protesters were trampled to

death.

____________________________________________

What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter

bomb.

It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?

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