Joke Of The Day

[Seademon 0]

A cowboy walked into a German car show room and said 'Audi'!

[Mackenzie 6]

Jesus walked into a bar and asked for a pint of water. Oh no said the bar tender, you pay wine prices just like everyone else.

[BADOIR 2]

I dont care who your dad is................ your not walkin on this lake while i'm fishin!!!!!!!!!

[purpiablo 0]

A priest was driving along very erratically and was eventually pulled over by a police car.

The policeman came over, and as the priest wound down the window, he spotted an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

The policeman said "Have you been drinking sir?"

"Only water Officer" replied the priest.

"In that case" said the policeman " how come I can smell wine?"

"Alleluia" exclaimed the priest "He's done it again!"

[Seademon 0]

Is it Jesus/Priest jokes day?!

[purpiablo 0]

Q.  Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?

A. black  coat, white collar & you've got to watch your

arse if you get a dodgy  one!

[jesterwalker69 0]

The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords - the crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness can't help but have a little rivalry - both being heads of churches and all.

The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd.

Gradually, the cheering subsides. The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen,"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will speak forever of this day and rejoice - they will recount it to their grandchildren and they to their descendants.

The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me." So the Pope slapped her

[jesterwalker69 0]

The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him 50p. The boy looks at the coin and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you're a virgin".

The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. Next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it's a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad a pound coin. Once again the lad looks at the coin and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin".

At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that's twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"

"Yes" says the brat, "a tight c*nt."

[bulldog 2]

A black gentleman and a jewish gentleman at a bus stop, the colured gentleman asks the jewish gentleman "what time is the next bus due", the jewish gentleman replies " F*** OFF YOU BLACK B***ARD.

[purpiablo 0]

A  Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The  stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.He replied in disgust  "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my  lips!" Paddy handed his drink back & said "Me too, I didnt know we  had  a choice!"

[purpiablo 0]

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says "You know what I want dont you?" "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!"