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-----A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen

you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine .."

" What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

" Well, we were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm

fine now ."

" Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand ?"

" We were in another battle. I boarded a ship, and got into a sword

fight my hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really

.."

" What about that eye patch ?"

" Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked

up, and one of them sh#t in my eye ."

" You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just

from bird sh#t ."

" It was my first day with the hook .

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