Anger Managment

[cadguy77 0]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell ?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled " You're a C*nt!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt'next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, " You're a C*nt!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'C*nt' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a C*nt!"

One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first C*nt ( I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover C*nt, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale? "Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked. "Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed." "Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Steve, you're a C*nt!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea.

I called C*nt #1. Hello." "You're a C*nt!" (But I didn't hang up.)"Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he

screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Steve Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "C*nt, I live at 129 Alice Street,

Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, C*nt," and hung up.

Then I called C*nt #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, C*nt," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 29 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice Street, Ilford .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two C*nts beating the crap out of each other in

front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works...

[vr6matt 0]

Ha! PMSL that cheered me up... Some people just deserve that

[goonersteve 0]

ah MAN that was gripping stuff! lol

[matth76 1]

Nice one Aswad.

[tubby 0]

you should write a book aswad gripping and hilariously funny you should have got it on camera though i would have payed to see that.

brilliant stuff

virgin pmsl

[Petesvw 0]

: ) Quality yet again cad boy ; )

[cadguy77 0]

you should write a book aswad gripping and hilariously funny you should have got it on camera though i would have payed to see that.

brilliant stuff

virgin pmsl

Not all you read is based on real events