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Lie Detector...

Police in radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head & connecting it with wires to a photo copy machine.

The Message "HE'S LYING" was placed in the photo copier, & police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "Lie Detector" the suspect confessed.

Drunk...

A serious drunk man walked into a bar & after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her & kissed her.

She jumped up & slapped him silly

He immediatly appologised & explained "im sorry". I thought you were my wife. "You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" She screamed.

"Funny," he muttered "you even sound like her,"

Money

A man walks into a bar & see's his friend sat at a table looking upset,

Approaching his friend he comments "you look terrible, whats the problem?"

My mum died in August "he said" & "left me £25,000"

"Gee thats tough" he replied

"then in september my dad died & left me £90,000"

"wow two parents gone in two months, No wonder you're depressed"

"And last month my aunt died, & left me £15,000"

"Three close family members lost in three months? how sad"

"Then this month" continued the friend, "absolutley nothing!"

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