Jump to content

Global economics ROFL!!!


Recommended Posts

World economic models explained by cows

>

> SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

>

> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some

milk.

>

> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

>

> NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

>

> BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks

> the other, and then throws the milk away...

>

> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire

> on the income.

>

> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take

> harmonica lessons.

>

> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the

> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to

> analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

>

> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to

> your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your

> brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an

> associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax

> exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred

> via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the

> majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your

> listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with

> an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United

> States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the

> release. The public buys your bull.

>

> THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

>

> FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot,

> and block the roads, because you want three cows.

>

> JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are

> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it

> worldwide.

>

> A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live

> for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

>

> ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

> You decide to have lunch.

>

> RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have

> five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count

> them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open

> another bottle of vodka.

>

> SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You

> charge the owners for storing them.

>

> CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.

> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and

> arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

>

> BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

>

> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them

> that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of

you

> and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are

> part of a Democracy...

>

> WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very

> attractive.

>

> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You

> close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...