you just gotta laugh

[scoobysmiff 0]

Bloody Americans!

Subject: Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel??

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed

up by being near the window.

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to

explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she

interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town

is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I

calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa."

Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong

with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I

tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the

state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a

very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from

Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled

up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I

asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big

airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her

flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried

to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not

understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went

very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your

bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said," No, why do you

ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag

on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?"

After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was

actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is

FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all

the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then

take the train to Hawaii?" I just got off the phone with a man who asked,

"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to

which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these

darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi Cola on one of those

computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter

plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in

order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I

reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times

and never had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his

stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to

China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations; "I want to go from Chicago to

Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the

agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you

have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with,

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and

can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be

silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map

of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo,

do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"