The best piano player in the world!

[scoobysmiff 0]

The Piano Player

A man walks into the poshest restaurant in town and says “Where’s the goddam mother-fucking Manager you cock sucking arse wipe?”

The waiter is naturally taken aback and replies “Excuse me sir, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here. I’ll get the manager as soon as I can.”

The manager comes out and the man says: “ Are you the chicken-fucking manager of this bastard joint?”

“Yes sir, I am,” replies the manager, “And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from speaking with such profanities in this restaurant.”

“Fuck off!” replies the man, “And where’s the fucking piano?”

“Pardon?” says the manager.

“Fucking deaf as well are we? Show us your pissing piano!”

“Ahhh!” replies the manager, “You’ve come about the pianist’s job!” and shows the man to the piano. “Can you play any blues?”

“Of course I fucking can” and the man proceeds to play the most inspiring and honky tonk blues the manager has ever heard.

“Why that’s superb! What’s it called?”

“I want to fuck your missus but the springs keep hurting my knob,” replies the pianist. The manager is a bit disturbed and asks the man if he knows any jazz. The man proceeds to play the most melancholy jazz solo the manager has ever heard.

“Magnificent!” Cries the manager, “What’s it called?”

“I wanted a wank over the washing machine but my bollocks got caught in the soap drawer.” The manager is a tad embarrassed and asks if he knows any romantic ballads; the man then plays the most heartbreaking melody.

“And what’s this called?” asks the manager.

“As I fuck you under the stars with the moonlight shining off your hairy ringpiece,” replies the pianist. The manager is highly upset by the man’s language but offers the man the job on condition he doesn’t introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the customers.

This arrangement works well for a couple of months until one night, sitting opposite the pianist, is the most gorgeous blond the man has ever seen. She’s wearing an almost see-through dress, her tits are practically falling out of the top and the skimpy little g-string she’s wearing is riding up the crack of her arse. She is sitting there with her legs slightly open, sucking suggestively on asparagus shoots and the butter is dripping down her chin. It’s all too much for the pianist and he runs off to the gents to have a quick chop. He’s pulling away furiously when he hears the manager’s voice…”Where’s that bloody pianist?”

He just has time to shoot his bolt and in a fluster runs back to the piano, not having bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down and starts playing some more tunes. The blond steps up to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear: “Do you know your knob and balls are hanging out and spunk is dripping on your shoes?”

“Know it?” the pianist replies…”I fucking wrote it!”

[Petesvw 0]

lol.very good

[vr6freak 3]

oh yes .very good

[RALA 0]

LoL